Pursuing therapy for the first time (or maybe even the fifth time!) can be daunting. Whether you are looking to build insight, change behaviors, or improve relationships, congratulations for recognizing that need and for taking this sometimes scary step in the right direction. Let me tell you a little bit about what to expect and how to make the most of it.
First of all, I want to be clear that everyone is different. In fact, there's a saying “if you've met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person”. That's because no two people will have the same set of challenges and needs, even if they have the same diagnosis. Maybe you are struggling with depression. And maybe your new therapist has treated hundreds of patients with depression. Still, your therapist doesn't know YOU. So give her a chance to get to know you.
Your therapist will likely send you some forms to complete and/or do what we call a “psychiatric interview” to find out a little bit about you. And even if that first “intake” session goes great, she still doesn't know you. If she summarizes your issues in a way that doesn't sound right, correct her. If she doesn't seem to “get it”, explain it again. If she is proposing a technique that isn't working for you, let her know. If she doesn't seem to be paying attention, ask her if this is a bad time. We're human, and sometimes we misunderstand or make mistakes. I promise you, we want to get it right; we want to be as helpful to you as we can possibly be. So please give us a chance to course-correct.
About techniques: there are a lot of them, and your therapist may advertise that they use CBT or DBT or ACT or work from a humanist or feminist orientation or any other of a number of models. None of it matters very much! A famous study we all read in grad school indicated that 90% of your treatment outcomes can be attributed to the therapeutic relationship, not any particular technique. So that being said, if after a few sessions, you just don't feel rapport, don't feel seen or heard, it might just not be a good fit. We're all different, including therapists!
First of all, I want to be clear that everyone is different. In fact, there's a saying “if you've met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person”. That's because no two people will have the same set of challenges and needs, even if they have the same diagnosis. Maybe you are struggling with depression. And maybe your new therapist has treated hundreds of patients with depression. Still, your therapist doesn't know YOU. So give her a chance to get to know you.
Your therapist will likely send you some forms to complete and/or do what we call a “psychiatric interview” to find out a little bit about you. And even if that first “intake” session goes great, she still doesn't know you. If she summarizes your issues in a way that doesn't sound right, correct her. If she doesn't seem to “get it”, explain it again. If she is proposing a technique that isn't working for you, let her know. If she doesn't seem to be paying attention, ask her if this is a bad time. We're human, and sometimes we misunderstand or make mistakes. I promise you, we want to get it right; we want to be as helpful to you as we can possibly be. So please give us a chance to course-correct.
About techniques: there are a lot of them, and your therapist may advertise that they use CBT or DBT or ACT or work from a humanist or feminist orientation or any other of a number of models. None of it matters very much! A famous study we all read in grad school indicated that 90% of your treatment outcomes can be attributed to the therapeutic relationship, not any particular technique. So that being said, if after a few sessions, you just don't feel rapport, don't feel seen or heard, it might just not be a good fit. We're all different, including therapists!
Sidra
Online Psychologist & Clinical Social Worker
Lid van Therapiepsycholoog
Online