Healthy relationships are not free of conflict; what truly matters is how conflicts are addressed. Instead of criticizing your partner with statements like, "You did this wrong," focus on expressing yourself constructively. Use this formula:
State a feeling: Start by sharing how you feel.
Describe a specific situation: Clearly explain what prompted the feeling.
Express a positive need: Communicate what you need moving forward.
For example: "I feel disappointed when you cancel our plans at the last minute. I need you to let me know earlier if something comes up."
This approach fosters understanding and collaboration rather than defensiveness.
Julia (she/her)
Psychologist Rotterdam
Lid van Therapiepsycholoog
State a feeling: Start by sharing how you feel.
Describe a specific situation: Clearly explain what prompted the feeling.
Express a positive need: Communicate what you need moving forward.
For example: "I feel disappointed when you cancel our plans at the last minute. I need you to let me know earlier if something comes up."
This approach fosters understanding and collaboration rather than defensiveness.
Julia (she/her)
Psychologist Rotterdam
Lid van Therapiepsycholoog
