Jolanda | Couples counselling and Lifecoach

Life Coaching and Couples Counselling Zaandam

I work with expats, Dutch nationals and international students. Sessions take place in Amsterdam or Zaandam. Live sessions, online sessions or a combination of live and online sessions to provide  for hectic schedules. 

People come to me for varying issues, for example: relationship stress, such as break-ups, blended families, communication and toxic patterns. You can come both individually or as a couple. Other issues people come to talk to me about include: saying no and standing up for what you want, struggling with HSP, making difficult choices.

 
Perfectionism, inner critic, fear of failure
Things are going well: you have a good carreer, social life, you are aware and up to date with current  issues, you go to the gym (ofcourse...;), live a healthy lifestyle, you are a good daughter/mother/wife/colleague.... You are bright and capable.

And yet...
you are not satisfied. You are very critical of yourself. Hoowerver hard you try, there is always that one loose end, or that one too many mistake Maybe you feel as if you can't manage all that well,  no matter what others say. You don't do enough or don't do it good enough. Maybe you are angry with yourself or dissapointed, maybe you call yourself names.. Maybe you even silently believe that deep down you are just downright lazy... 

Good chance you are dealing with a strong internal critic. The expectations of people with a strong internal critic are very high. They need to do all that and more! Only it takes tons of energy and often  it doesn't quite work out how  it was planned... as life rarely does. Exhausting. 
Recognize this? Come and have a chat, lets find out together in what areas this is relevant for you and what it takes to take a small step towards more mildness and self compassion. So that you can do the things you really want with less energy. 

Relationship issues

*separation

Maybe you have decided to separate and you would like to know how to do this in the best possible way. A way that doesn’t increase the divide but bridges it.

*Staying or going?

Or maybe you are in a position where you are constantly questioned, so much that you are starting to question your own judgement, maybe you are wondering whether tot stay or go and you are confused and conflicted about all the different choices and their consequences.

*Old grievances

Or maybe you are burdened by a lot of old grief or old anger.

*betrayal

Perhaps there has been some form of betrayal and you are suffering from the result of this breach in trust, even  though you are both  trying to make it work again.

* Blended or stepfamilies

You are part of a blended family and yet it doesn’t really seem to blend. You might feel left out in your own home, or more as if you are in between two (fires?) incredibly tiring and energy sapping. Why can’t everyone just ben ice and make an effort, mmight be something you ask yourself over and over again. Whether you are in one or the other position, it makes you wonder whether you are doing the right thing here. Why doesn’t it work? Isn’t love  supposed to conquer everything?

In short: relationship issues and relationship stress in all shapes and sizes.

Would you like some support? From an open and supportive listener who can help sort out the tangled bits and pieces? So you can get to the essence of what you want. Do you feel ready to take your next step and create a more peaceful life for yourself? Feel free to contact me. You do not have to do this all by yourself.

Issues surrounding standing up for yourself, boundaries, saying no and standing your ground

Okay, you did it again: you agreed to take on that extra project at work, while your to-do list is already off the charts. Or your partner bailed out of taking the kids while you were supposed to have your night off with friends. And yes: you end up on the sofa with the kids rather than going out with your friends. Or maybe you find yourself every time putting someone elses needs first.

Or maybe you  recognize this: You want to gently talk through something that bothers you in your relationship and at the end of the talk, you are left with the feeling of being a bit of a nag, maybe you have even apologized. Never mind…it really isn’t that important you tell yourself. Do you find that often you think: “maybe I am being  silly/ I am overreacting/ I am too sensitive /  it isn’t that important anyway.

Recognize any of this?  There is  good chance that you are finding it hard to stand up for yourself.

When you find it difficult to stand up for yourself on a regular basis, chances are that you become exhausted at some point. When asked what you feel about something, you may not actually be able to answer, you may start to doubt whether what you feel actually makes sense. If this is you, do get in touch and lets work together towards a greater sense of control over your own space, as I call it.

HSP, Highly Sensitive Person
HSP or SPS Sensory Processing Sensitivity as I also like to call it, pointing more to the processing of sensory input. It feels lets judgy, if you like. Do you get this: you go out, shopping, a fair, swimmingpool, airports, trains and it feels like everythinmg is happening at once. All sounds, smells, colours, people bumping into you... At the end of your outing you are left feeling completely drained. 
Daily events seem to impact you more than most people around you. 
How do you deal with this?
Hoow can you create room for yourself and how you feel and reboot your battery?

Do you feel you could use some help in dealing with your HSP? Do get in touch. I have a pleasant, calm space both in Amsterdam and Zaandam where we can sort out the different issues you are struggling with and we can find your personal set of tools to deal with them with more ease. You never know, you might just start to feel lucky you are HSP ;) 

Do any of the above issues feel like they are about you? Do contact me by mail or phone. You don’t have to do this on your own. I am a supportive listener with ample experience and training in the field of lifecoaching and couples counselling.

Would you like to know more, or have a quick introductory chat on the phone or make an appointment, do let me know. Send me a message and I’ll get back to you shortly. I look forward to seeing you soon!

Jolanda